Archive for the ‘Friendships’ Category

Most popular photos on Flickr

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

Thought I’d use this new plugin to show off my most popular photos on flickr

12 months ago already!

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

матраци12 months ago today I had a 6th sense; called my grandad asking him if ‘he were scared’, ‘not really’ he replied in a brave tone. Wishing him ‘all the best’ and saying ‘I will see you the other side’; which was peculiar of me to say such a thing. I think to this day I had subconsciously realised ‘the other side’ would not have been of the operation but of my own death in years to come :'(
Those were the last words we shared and bless him he thought I was Porl Joynes, so never knew how concerned I was! Been a hard 12 months trying to get over it but writing this has finally drawn my first true tear and lump in my throat :'( …Maybe speaking out like this is what I have been longing for.

Good night all, treasure every moment; you never do really know when you are going to lose the best things in life.

Smiling Men on Dune


Friday, January 1st, 2010

It’s that time of the year again that I reflect on the past 12 months and plan the next.
My past year has been very much a blur, partially through the amount I have managed to cram into it and partially because I’d rather forget about it.

Too much thinking!

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

I sit here wondering what it takes to get out of the rat race the majority of us seem to live in. There is so much of the world yet to be conquered, engineering to be admired and seeing some of it this weekend has made me wonder exactly what it is I need to do to achieve this. I feel this is a burning ambition inside me… Or is this normal of a human? I don’t know; all I do know is I refuse to let this slip for the rest of my life, I don’t want to look back and say I wish I had done that, not any more. Seeing so much from these great heights at tremendous speeds slips my mind into a trance.
I am missing a vital piece of my jigsaw to life, I know what I am, what I want, what I have; but that piece that puts ambitions and goals into reality is missing. I don’t see where or what I am going to be in 10, 20, 40 years time. Before long they will come and I need to do something now otherwise I will never be satisfied… or are we never satisfied anyway? How many times do we think the grass is greener when it really isn’t!
We all seem to be destined to buy a house, settle down, have kids, retire then live if we are still fit to do so.
Well by the time I will be able to retire there is a likely chance I won’t be fit to live, so is it really that important to get into the rat race of buying houses having kids? Although I love my creature comforts I am unsure if I am a settler. I know I need to settle with a female, but settle somewhere seems too laborious for the rest of my life, I couldn’t do it.
I admire what Christine has to say with regards to this matter and it stimulates the mind, but to a dangerous level maybe beyond my ability. She seems gifted in the sense that she appears to be able to say I am going to do that and manages it; does she work her socks off for it – maybe; just maybe that is where I lack stimulation; but that doesn’t seem possible – my ambitions are worthy of stimulation… So someone help me!

Uncertain Changes

Saturday, March 15th, 2008

We all go through dramatic changes in life, but never did I think it was possible to feel so low through them.
There is a level of uncertainty for me at the moment, I have no way of knowing which way to turn, and even if I did, I think there would be nothing but emptiness awaiting the other side of a monstrous hill climb.

My career has become challenging, of which I have no idea how I am going to cope, and at the present moment in time I think I need friends more than ever, but that is something else that is changing, our friendships have become weak to the point it feels lost, like a long term relationship it feels a relief, but at the same time it leaves you looking at an empty space within your near future. I have been spoilt for friendships, but never have I felt so alone, maybe because I have been so spoilt and now have nothing it is a shock. Nothing ever seems to come easy or ever rewarding and there is only so much that one can take without there being consequences, uncertain consequences that hurt.

Something must come along surely? Life is never about doom and gloom for me, so what is going on? Bring back the happiness, please!


Thursday, December 20th, 2007

Well, what a game! I feel as though I have learned a lot tonight from our game… For some it may be offensive (I’m Sorry) and for others it may be an appraisal (Bloody Hell)!

Tonight showed how different we all take the game, and the fact we didn’t let anything get to us and the way we worked is why we came out on top. Firstly we noticed their weaknesses and beat them, we worked as a unit/team, we had no internal competition, treated all equally and we did a hell of a lot of shouting!
You may laugh at the amount I shout, but most of it was appraisals or making life easier for others. The shouting encouraged people, not belittled them, this seemed to give people confidence in what they were doing and they excelled throughout the game

Passing was in an abundance and apart from the few opportunities or where there was only a solo effort, there was no selfishness. This created a zig zag effect straight past them every time without fail, which also suggests we had a structure, and seeing as though most of us scored many or had plenty of opportunities it shows there was always support at the back or the front whenever it was needed. Hardly ever did the whole team come unstuck for all rushing in one direction, we almost took it in turns to go up and come back, with minimal support only when it was required. Don’t stand in one spot all the time, even if it is open, move your feet, create chances, and most importantly mark people and stick with them. I never used to be a marker and I struggled when I had to, I was a space marker and I think I did very well at it. I now manage to mark people far better than they mark me, this is by taking a healthy balance between my speed and strength. There is nothing worse than having to mark more than one person and seeing your own team standing in open space running circles only around themselves!
When marking people you put them under instant pressure, something everyone on our team achieved fantastically tonight, they didn’t stand a chance very often and this really showed when you hear the frustration shouting out loud.

In essence, the game became far too easy for us seeing as though we were huge underdogs on paper, but that gave us a challenge and I have noticed how pushing yourself gets so much satisfaction. I give myself a goal to be running as much at the end as I do at the start, the only way I get there is pushing myself beyond a barrier that I get, everyone on the opposing team tonight reached that barrier and became worse off. When you reach that barrier, push yourself further and further, you will be amazed how fit you become and when you get beaten, for pity sake don’t give in, you become far too much of a walk over, chase them, get fitter, get better then you will be beating them, every time.

All in all, not a bad game, I do prefer more of a challenge though, and it did become far too unfair… but I think we showed how it should be played, of which I haven’t felt in ages… Partially because no matter how much I rush around I never feel part of the team but tonight I think I can say we all felt that… maybe something for others to consider? Partnerships don’t work, single runs don’t work, but remember ‘Together Everyone Achieves More’.

P.S. No offense, I noticed a huge difference with the two parties missing tonight, don’t know how others felt?
I do have a little rant to make though… What is it with the hand ball claims all the time (LEARN THE HAND BALL RULE!!!), we should have let probably every hand ball go tonight with the exception of the top of the arm control and the blatant hand ball 4ft out!!!
If the hand touches the ball, and the hand is in line with the body and direction of flow, let it go unless it is blatantly on purpose, and anything that isn’t a legitimate handball at other times (It’s not rocket science, I can assure you!), get over it – it does my head in!


Friday, December 7th, 2007

These last few weeks have given me many thoughts as to where I am and what I want to do/be…

My targets for this year were pretty simple; Finish Uni with a 2:1, get a good job and go to more gigs.

Well, I passed my degree with a disappointing 2:2, but none the less I have passed and got myself a really good job working for Sorion Electronics.

… and of course I had tickets to see My Chemical Romance but pulled out, but have been to see Razorlight, The Filthy Habits and Kaiser Chiefs.

This now means I have new Targets to set for 2008;

Even more gigs;
I have tickets for Scouting for Girls, and intend to find even more gigs to go to as I have really enjoyed myself this year.

3 Peaks Challenge;
I do not set myself challenges and I would like to set myself at least one challenge every year, of which has to be somewhat difficult, enduring, for charity and a way of getting fit. So the aim for 2008 is to prepare for the 3 Peaks Challenge sometime in the near future.

I would like to be involved in more activities and maybe find a really good hobby that I can enjoy, things such as Photography, 4×4 Off-Roading, Water Skiing, Snow Boarding really sound interesting to me and I aim to get more involved with as many of them as possible in 2008.

So all in all, hopefully a good year ahead but as usual I am sure it wont go to plan, 2007 has been a challenge for me and I don’t regret a single thing as I have learned so much about every day life, friendships, work, education and more importantly myself. I have had some terrible moments in 2007, to the point of shear despair but I have got through them and rose above the bad moments and ended up enjoying myself.

Booze Cruise

Friday, December 7th, 2007

From 16th to 18th November Adam, Hayley, Matthew and I decided to take a weekend away on a booze cruise to Calais.

It has by far been the best weekend of the year for me, from comments like;
“Is that the sky” (Adam) – With boats in the middle of them!
“I can see the clouds” (Me) – First thing I saw after coming off the ferry – It was the lovely White Cliffs of Dover!
“this is ‘like’ a litre of beer” (Matt) – With a litre of beer in a huge glass in his hand!

Set off around 9.30am after spending what felt like 20 minutes setting up the awful Sony Navigation unit (thanks Matt!), and it took around 4 hours to get to Folkestone where our hotel for the weekend was based. Settled in and had a walk around the town. What a funny little place it is, we could only find one pub, which was by mistake (Wetherspoons of all places!). Had a few drinks in there then decided to go for a buffet…
What a mistake that was, it was a mixed Asian buffet that happened to be cold. After some minutes of scoffing ourselves Matt thankfully had the guts to complain. They realised they had turned one of the heaters off… Great, so based on what happened next I am guessing they poorly reheated everything as I had the worst diarrhoea ever!
Matt and I kept challenging one another by trying to pick things up with chop sticks, of which I was better than him at but try telling him that! Ice-cream is easy – try picking jelly up! Decided to go back to ‘Spoons and drink the night away, even though we had to be up for about 4.30am!

Woke up around 4.30am to catch the ferry for 6. It was a really tiring morning and I really didn’t feel too good, this was first expressed at the port with severe belching, to the point it was making me feel sick, let along poor Adam and Matt who were heaving. Decided to try and settle our stomachs by having a good ol’ greasy full English breakfast and it really didn’t go down too well for me. Everywhere I seemed to go, everyone else didn’t want to be there! Wind was coming out of all orifices!
We arrived in France around 9am and decided to go straight to Eastenders then Cite Europe, how hard could it be, we had an experienced France driver (me) and supposedly a good navigator (Adam)! Within 15 minutes I happen to turn down a road and see one lane of traffic, of which was facing me… Doh, slap it in reverse and get out of here… pretending nothing had happened! Another 10 minutes down the road I was informed we had to “go that way”, “what way?”, “that way”, “what do you mean that way, which way is that way?”, “that way”… it was hard work! To the point we ended up boarding the EuroStar! – Well almost, it was a point of no return and we had to embarrassingly inform the desk operator we had taken a wrong turn so she handed us a memorable exit pass!
Cite Europe; Within seconds of getting there I was on the toilet… for ages, the diarrhea had started! From here on the weekend was not entirely enjoyable for myself, but it happened to amuse the others.
We went for a drink in a restaurant near the Carrefour and Matt had a litre of beer, strange that Matt, “this is like a litre of beer” – no shit!
Carried on shopping for some hours before deciding to go for a little drive, how we didn’t get lost I have no idea!
Boarded the ferry about an hour earlier than planned and arrived in Dover about 9pm. We had planned on going to the chippy but I was feeling really rough so went straight to bed. The others had the best chips they had had in ages, and didn’t they rub it in!

Waking up around 4am with the peak of the diarrhoea I was still on the toilet to see sunrise at around 6.30am and after some 15 visits or more to the toilet and quickly running out of toilet roll this was no longer funny for me. By around 9am my stomach was somewhat relieved yet still not right. We were hoping to go shopping, but I was unsure if I was going to be able to make 10 minutes down the motorway without damaging Adam’s seats let alone taking a detour and spend some time shopping. Having held my butt cheeks together for a couple of hours we stopped in Oxford and spent about 2 hours shopping, what little bit we saw, it seems to be a really beautiful city (but a word of warning, use the park and ride!).
Managed to hold everything in until I got home, but as soon as I did, my god! Got home around 5pm and decided to relax in a warm bubbly bath, what a relief it was!

Many thanks to Adam, Hayley and Matt for a fantastic weekend, I am sorry about my burps and farting… they were uncontrollable!

I really look forward to Booze Cruise 2008 with the addition of Dan all being well.


Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

It has been a funny few months in terms of friendships, I have seen many come and go and tried not to get myself involved as I have seen it happen too many times before where people strongly rely on one relationship and it all goes tits up. Getting involved only makes matters worse.

Once again I have gone from having no social friends to having loads, and I have come to realise smaller the better! Too many people means higher chances of there being differences, and differences cause bitching.

To cut a long story as short as possible, jealousy is mans worst friend. I have become quite good friends with Matt, through Dan M (Cousin) or so I thought. Things have gone a bit funny recently despite having everything he could possibly want, he got jealous over a new friendship I had gained… with someone who adored him more than you could imagine, yet he just messed with their head more and more. They say, ‘it’s not that simple’ and ‘there’s more to it’ but isn’t there always! Why would someone get so jealous of something when they have far more from the same person than the one they are getting jeaous of, but turn it down when it is offered to them on a plate. Get your head sorted mate and stop breaking her heart, I would stop all my flirting right now for you two to be together, but for as long as there is nothing more between you, I am going to enjoy myself.

I have never really had a female I can confide in and just have a chat about anything with, and she is perfect for that. Admittedly if something was offered I would take it straight away but at the moment there is nothing and I am quite happy with that and know the situation… If only the rest of you got that in your head and stopped the jealousy, its ruining our nights out!